just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
