but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
