But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
