i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
