I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
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After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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