Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it's like heaven, but drunker
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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