Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
