just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
