writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
