my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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