you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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