Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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