Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
