Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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