he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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