Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
