alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize