i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
