you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
