My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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