I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
