I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
