I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
