i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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