Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
