I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
