Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
time to smoke my breakfast
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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