weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
