I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
