I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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