Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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