This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
