sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
