just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
