I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
