And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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