Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
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So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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