I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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