Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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