I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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