ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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