so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
