Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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