Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
