Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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