It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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