She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
