I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
