Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
