did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
