If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
