Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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