It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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