so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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