Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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