There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I love black thongs
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
