If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
