so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
