pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
