I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
