wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
